they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
