we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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