We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
