the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
