Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
