We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
