I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
