I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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