Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
