couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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