now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
