we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
