he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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