ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
