OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
