I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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