if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
