dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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