If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she smelled like a LAN party
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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