i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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