in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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