did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Randomize
