You made me cry and you don't even care
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
