You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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