Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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