Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
