I cockslap morals
now i know why i became what i already was.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
