I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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