The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
