My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
