My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I will pee on everything he values.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
