do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
