rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
