I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Never joke about your clitoris.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
