So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
