I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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