So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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