they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
