the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
