Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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