Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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