FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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