Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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