after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Green mimosas i think yes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
