You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
