Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
