dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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