I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
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