I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
