I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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